Insanity
by Ranger Do'Urden
Summary: It is a known fact that Col. Crittendon drives Col. Hogan out of his mind. What happens when Crittendon really starts to drive Hogan insane? What will Hogan do to get away from him? A short silly story about our favorite heroes.


Based season 1 episode 29 "The Assassin" I would suggest watching the episode first but it is not required to understand this story.

**Disclaimer:** Like every other writer in the realm of fanfiction, I don't own or claim for any of these characters. They belong to CBS and all those other important people. Not me, I'm not important :(

**Author Note:** I just want to say that this is my very first attempt at writing a fic. That being said please be considerate when reviewing. Also, this would be the revised version of this story. Reading back I agree with all the reviews, I went a little overboard on the POVs, however I have taken the time to fix that. If you just found this story and are feeling a little confused about what I'm talking about, just forget it. It is not worth your time. :)

**Summary: **Everyone knows Col. Crittendon drives Hogan out of his mind. This is my take on the desperate measures Hogan will take to avoid Crittendon. Bit of a "what if" without the what if.

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**Insanity**

"Hogan old boy, good to see you again" Crittendon exclaimed climbing out of the tunnel. "I say fantastic operation you have going down there, absolutely fantastic!"

Hogan stood frozen, astonished at this new turn of events. He asked for an assassin to kill an atomic scientist and he what gets a bumbling British Colonel. How on Earth was he stuck with Crittendon again? _And he just keeps on talking!_ Hogan thought to himself as Crittendon babbled on about the escape and their operation. He could already feel the headache starting to form that came with dealing with this man. He couldn't take anymore of this. Not only did the assassin get captured, blowing the entire mission, but Crittendon just had to tag along. Sure he knew there would be danger when he agreed to take up this command, but no one mentioned it would be from his own side!

Hogan's men watched in apprehension as they looked upon their Commanding Officer's face. They saw the surprise and utter disbelief flash in his eyes and wondered just what he planned to do about the British Colonel. They smiled to each other as they saw a slight twinkle in his eyes and his trademark grin spread across his face. They were completely unprepared when their CO spun on his heels and stormed out of the barracks into the night. They looked at one another for answers and when they received none, rushed to the window to see just what Hogan was up to. Colonel Crittendon just stood there, continuing on with his conversation, unaware of what was going on around him. The Heroes made it to the window just in time to see the Colonel walk up to Corporal Kolear1 and kick him in the shin. They watched in shock as Kolear yelled in surprise and dragged Hogan off to the cooler to charge him with assaulting a German soldier.

"Gentlemen," Newkirk started, turning away from the window "I do believe Colonel Hogan has gone 'round the bend."

Kinch nodded in agreement "I guess seeing Crittendon again was to much of a shock and him mind just snapped."

"Well seeing Crittendon can make just about anyone snap," Carter joked "um... begging the Colonel's pardon" he added sheepishly.

"What was that?" Crittendon asked, now realizing he was talking to himself.

Colonel Hogan lied down on his bunk in the cooler, noticing he was in one of the only rooms without room service. He couldn't decide if that was a good thing or bad thing yet. He would worry about that in the morning. Right now, all he wanted to do was spend his three weeks2 in solitary confinement in peace, far away from that bumbling Col. Crittendon. _Come to think of it_, Hogan thought idly on his bunk, _I think I __would rather listen to Klink's violin than spend even a week with that man_. Hogan shuddered at the mere thought of that torture device, I mean instrument, and shook his head _I must be going insane!_

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1 A corporal Kolear was mentioned in season 4 episode 4 as being a real brute. I'm not sure on the spelling but I tried researching it and... no luck!

2 I don't know what the real punishment would be, I just made something up. :)

**AN:** Once again I would like to state that this is my first story EVER. So please, don't be to harsh on the reviews. If you liked it, great! Loved it, even better! Hated it... well, at least it wasn't long! Anyways please tell me what you think, I have some more ideas but I'm not sure they will be published.


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